Salary– a form of periodic payment from an employer to an employee, which may be specified in an employment contract.
Budget– a financial plan for a defined period that can greatly enhance the success of any financial undertaking.
But who needs plans when you can have spontaneous adventures, right? Here’s how I intentionally blew my entire budget of 50,000 Naira—and why you should consider doing the same (at your own risk, of course).
First Key Takeaway: I didn’t die, so you might not die.
Second Key Takeaway: My budget was 50,000 Naira, expertly snatched from my 60,000 Naira salary.
Third Key Takeaway: I’m still owing someone money, but I’m not in the police station.
Day 1: September 28, 2024.
At exactly 8:00 p.m. on September 28th, 2024, I was sipping on Garri without sugar and groundnut, contemplating my life’s choices. Then, my phone dinged—salary alert! My stomach did a flip, “Up and Grateful” style. I dropped the Garri faster than bad news and immediately ordered Jollof rice, Chicken, Salad and Plantain for 8,500 Naira, plus a delivery of 1,500 Naira.
Feeling like Asherkine, I hopped on my status and announced, “I know how it feels to be poor, so I’m blessing five souls with ₦2k each.” Within seconds, my inbox lit up—Kunle, Shade, Uncle Fola, Bisi, and Kemi all hit me up.
Bye-bye ₦20,000! That night, I slept like royalty with ₦30,000 left, dreaming of more fun ahead.
Day 2: September 29, 2024.
The next morning, I decided to treat myself. I had suffered enough. I ordered a ride to Ikeja Cinema—₦5,000 down. Why not live a little? The movie ticket set me back ₦8,000, and since I’m all about health (or so I told myself), I skipped the soda and opted for ice cream—just ₦2,000. With only ₦15,000 left after all that excitement, I wondered if I was still feeling like Asherkine. Regardless, the day was a win. Thought about my budget and entered public transport for ₦2,000. Bye-bye ₦17,000!
Day 3: September 30, 2024.
Time for Reality? No! On Day 3, I woke up feeling broke but broke with vibes. I had ₦13,000 and my Garri stash was giving me a side-eye, but I wasn’t ready for that reunion yet. I walked to a game studio on my street and ordered Jollof rice, chicken, and water for ₦4,500—because priorities.
Then I decided to try virtual reality for ₦5,000. If I’m going to be broke, at least let me escape reality for a minute, right?
Then I saw it: Candy Floss. Glorious, blue, and fluffy.
My inner child screamed, and I remembered how Iya Temi and Baba Temi never bought it for me because they couldn’t afford it.
So, I spent ₦1,500 without thinking. No regrets.
Bye-bye 11,000 Naira! By the time I got home, I had ₦2,000 left and a stomach full of sugar. Life was sweet… for now.
Day 4: October 1, 2024.
Life Shouldn’t Be Hard. By Day 4, my bank account was officially in the trenches. Day 4 was also the day I remembered I still owed Simi, my friend, ₦30,000 from last month and I promised her payment from my salary. You know that awkward moment when you suddenly realize you’re in debt but then immediately pretend you didn’t? Yeah, that was me. Beyond that, it’s a new month and I can’t think about Nigeria’s problem and think about mine. I looked at my bank app, saw the ₦12,000 balance, and thought, “Well, she’s a good friend… She’ll understand!”
But did I stop there? Of course not. I mean, what’s one more month of dodging calls when I could enjoy my last ₦2,000 on Noodles and Chicken? After all, I reasoned, if I’m going to owe money and be dragged, I might as well be well-fed. Bye-bye #2,000!
With 50,000 Naira spent and 10,000 Naira left from salary and Garri waiting for me like an old friend, I lay back, reflecting on my whirlwind four-day ride. The remaining 10,000 Naira? Don’t think about it. 60,000 Naira as salary? We will talk about it another day. Till then, help me start thinking of ways I can sue my office because they pay me below the minimum wage.
What I Gained:
• I had so much fun, I forgot about my worries (until the next day).
• I felt rich, even if my bank account was crying in the corner.
• I now have an album filled with memories to laugh about when I’m broke—like, “Remember that time I bought Jollof rice and Turkey instead of saving for rent or buying foodstuff?”
• I became a local hero, giving back to five lucky loved ones.
• I earned a new level of respect; I’m basically a philanthropist now.
• And yes, I’m back to my Garri routine, wondering where it all went wrong.
Life Lessons From A Once Rich Person:
• Live a little: Life is short; sometimes you just have to hit the “yes” button and splurge.
• Generosity is key: You never know who might need a little boost; your blessings can make someone’s day.
• Memories over money: Experiences are priceless. You can always make more money, but those memories? They last forever.
• Know your limits: While fun is important, make sure you have a backup plan for when reality hits (like that Garri stash).
So, the next time you’re tempted to stick to your budget, remember: sometimes, it’s okay to throw caution to the wind and blow it all on fun! Just make sure you don’t forget the Garri.
Remember, it’s at your own risk.